I Glow On with a little help from my friends ☺

When we’re going through a tough time, we want the support of our friends around us.
But our friendships don’t always survive the Big Transitions in our lives.

There are some people who start avoiding us, and there are some people we start avoiding. And this makes room for wonderful new friends. ☺

When I first moved into my flat I was so freaked out about being on my own (living alone for the first time ever, at the age of 42!) - that I arranged a roster of Betsey-Sitters to come over every evening and keep me company.

I was deeply sad, traumatised and feeling very insecure and shaky – but one thing’s for sure – I wasn’t miserable!
I know this because “misery loves company” – and there were a few friends who liked nothing better than to come over and settle in for a long, bitter vent about how all men were bastards and how hard life was.
This certainly wasn’t my view, and there was no way I was going to be a co-misery!

I wanted to celebrate Life and enjoy good times and laughter with my friends - so the ones who wanted a pity party were the first to go!

I soon realised that some of the people I’d always been there for – the ones I’d supported night after night during their break-ups, drawn-out divorces and times of unemployment and hardships  - were not necessarily going to be there for me.
I realised that most of them were simply so self-involved that they couldn’t have pulled their gaze from their own navel. ☺

"The shifts of fortune test the reliability of friends." ~ Marcus Tullius Cicero

And when one or two friends realised that I no longer had the same disposable income – they pretty much disposed of our friendship! 
I couldn’t afford to join them for wining and dining at the hip spots in town, and it turned out it wasn’t my company they were actually after.
They’d call me up - and then turn down invitations to visit because they preferred to be out and about.
So I haven’t seen them since. ☺

As any newly divorced woman is sure to find out – there are some married women friends who drop you because they feel threatened by your single status.
As if suddenly, now that you’re no longer attached, you’ve turned into some sort of femme fatale with a rampaging desire to seduce their husbands.
Which is absolutely ridiculous, because let’s face it – why on earth would I suddenly want their husbands? They don’t even find them attractive, so why would I? ☺☺

Friendships do come and go in our lives - it’s normal that some friends are with us at different times and stages.
But our true friends remain loyal throughout, regardless of time or distance.

My closest friends have been supportive, kind and generous and shown me the value of what true friendship really means.

I’ve dropped the needy people, been dropped by the shallow people, been supported by loving people and made some wonderful new friends on this part of my GloWoman journey. 

"A man's growth is seen in the successive choirs of his friends." ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

We’re each on our own individual path and we’re all at different stages on our unique journey. But we’re never alone.
Old friends and new friends are always there to love and support us along the way.
Some align with us for a while and some align with us throughout lifetimes, and all of them enrich our lives in their own way.

Our true friends encourage, support, inspire and uplift us, whatever our circumstances - and we do the same for them. 
I wouldn’t accept anything less. ☺

With Love,

 

Sod Your Ridiculous Rules and Get Your Glow On! ☺

 
For better or worse, we have to adhere to the rules and legalities of our society.
But are You placing unnecessary rules on Your Wonderful Life?

Most of us spend our lives in a disciplined routine, which is essential for streamlining, organising and getting things done.

But sometimes we place a lot of ridiculous rules on ourselves, which can get in the way of our happiness.

One of my more ridiculous rules is that I can’t leave a ‘dirty’ flat.
This is my ridiculous rationale: “God forbid I should die when I’m out and people should go into my flat and see how untidy I left it.”

Which is truly beyond ridiculous, because I’m an obsessive clean freak, and my flat is so clean you could eat off the floor – so leaving a few dirty dishes in the sink hardly makes it a pigsty!

I’m a very disciplined person – focused, organised and a little obsessive compulsive with my ‘rules’.

And there are certain things that I’ve committed to doing first thing in the morning: my Facebook page post, going for a run, and cleaning my kitchen.

But today was a Sod the Rules day – a Big Thing for me!

A close friend and I had been trying to meet up for a while.
She rang me early this morning to arrange a coffee meeting.
At first I hesitated – I had a routine to maintain… 

But because I hadn’t seen her in ages, I agreed to break my routine and go!

Of course the sky didn’t fall in! It was great to see her. We had a fabulous morning!

I’m certainly not going to chuck out my discipline (I couldn’t anyway – it’s who I am!), but I’m happy to allow a little leeway.

I’m better than I was - which has come with self-awareness of how ridiculous a lot of my ‘rules’ were.

I now allow myself to enjoy a sunshiny snooze on the couch on a winter’s afternoon – whereas before I used to think I had to sit at my desk during ‘work hours’.
Really ridiculous considering I am my own 'boss', and I work from home. ☺ (I often tell people that being your own boss, could be the worst boss you’ve ever had!)

And while I was writing this post, I broke another one of my rules – which is that I don’t take phone calls while I’m writing. ☺
Well I did, and I’m glad!
Because it was a friend inviting me to breakfast at a gorgeous beachfront venue on Monday morning – what a great way to start the week! Something super to look forward to! ☺

And perhaps it’s time to re-think some of my other ridiculous rules – especially the one that says “You can’t have a boyfriend (at my age, I find the word boyfriend ridiculous!) until you’re back on your feet financially”
Personally that one’s sounding like a lot of crapola to me.
If he’s the right one, he’ll love and adore me in spite of the fact that my finances are currently lower than low.

What ridiculous rules are you placing in the way of your happiness?

Life doesn’t fit into neat little boxes. We've got to open up and make sure that our Joy isn’t trapped and suffocating inside.
 

We all need to break out of our routine now and then, and allow ourselves to enJOY variety, creativity, relaxation and spontaneous FUN! 

This is Your WONDERFUL Life – don’t let your ridiculous rules stop you from Rocking your Happiness and Getting Your Glow On!

With Love, 

Get off that couch and MOVE into your Groove! ☺

By the time I’d reached my forties, I had morphed into a chain-smoking, lazy couch-potato who wouldn’t go anywhere unless I could park my car right outside, or even better – inside!
Until - my then-partner had a thrombosis, a close friend had a stroke and another one had a heart attack and gave me the fear!

 

My partner M and I both gave up smoking, and started walking every evening after work. Nothing like fear to motivate your lazy bum off that couch! ☺

M is 6’4’” tall with extremely long legs, so I had to walk quickly to keep up with him.
After our first outing (which was less than 1km and accompanied by plenty of moaning from me☺), I remember getting home and collapsing exhausted on the couch!

But we kept going every evening, and it did get easier, and surprisingly to me – enjoyable. ☺
We both started looking forward to it every day.

As M got fitter, he was walking much faster, and I was really struggling to keep up with him. I’d start running for a few steps just to keep up the pace.
And I’d see runners going past me and envy them. I wanted to be able to run!
I dreamed about being like those runners in the opening scene of Chariots of Fire – running effortlessly along and enjoying myself ☺

So one day, I decided I’d do it.
I was fit from all the walking and so I thought I’d just take off and go for a run.

I told M I’d see him at the end of the promenade and set off.
I made it as far as the length of four lamp-posts, before I ran out of breath and felt like I was going to throw up and pass out! 

But the next day I did it again. Running as far as I could get to, and then slowing down to a walk until I got my breath back and running a little bit more.
In the meantime, M and I had split up, and I moved to a flat right on the beachfront.
I was traumatised by events, and my daily walk/run became therapy and still is.

Being out in the sunshine with crashing waves, flying sea spray and whales and dolphins for company really helps to get my Glow On!
I think of it as my Moving Meditation ☺

After about a year of running/walking I was chatting to a runner friend about my seeming lack of progress. I could only get to a certain point (about 200 metres), before ‘running out of steam’.
He was quite right when he said he thought it may be psychological. ☺
He said that if I could just push past that point, I’d be able to keep going.
Apparently if I was running blind-folded I wouldn’t know where that point was, and I’d run past it.

So I took his advice – and oh boy, what a breakthrough!
I ran my full distance of about 5kms without stopping. I was delighted!
I could now call myself a runner! ☺

Although, admittedly I was still struggling along and running very slowly.
Sometimes it felt like I wasn’t actually moving forward at all – I had to check the landmark next to me to make sure that I was passing it and wasn’t actually running on the spot! ☺

Everyone would overtake me as I slowly jogged along.
One morning I got caught in a World Diabetes Day Fun Run crowd on the beachfront and was overtaken by a one-legged man on crutches!

Once I was overtaken by a really good runner, who steamed full-on up what felt like a 90° hill (but is, in reality, only a slight incline!) - while I struggled, huffing and puffing to the top.
"That was really embarrassing", I said, when I eventually got there.
"I've seen worse than you", he said.
I was delighted! I wasn’t the worst! ☺

Sometimes it felt like my legs just couldn’t carry me on and I’d pretend I had wings on my back and a pair of wings on each heel, to help me ‘fly’ along. ☺
Amazingly enough, this always worked. 
I’d feel the extra power I needed to make it all the way.

I also realised that a lot of the runners who came sprinting past me couldn’t sustain their pace – I’d slowly catch up with them and notice they were walking – as I jogged past them and smiled to myself. ☺

It has taken me a few years to build up stamina, and I’ve picked up a bit of speed, but I’m still one of the slowest – and it doesn’t bother me a bit! ☺

Sometimes I bounce along feeling full of vim and vigour; sometimes I sprint as fast as I can for the sheer enjoyment of it -  and sometimes my legs feel like lead and I need to imagine my wings are powering me home. ☺

But the effects of being fit and feeling good are fantastic – and there’s no way I could go back to being a couch-potato now – in fact the very idea horrifies me.

I love knowing that I’m fit and that I CAN run. I’ve enjoyed running alone at dawn in the African bush alongside warthogs and wildebeest, and I’ve dashed right across London in the rain (smartly dressed and made-up for a posh lunch!) when there was a snarl-up with the Tube and the traffic was impossible. 

Of course you’re going to think you ‘hate exercise’ if you’re totally unfit – because it feels like hard work! Admittedly, It’s not much fun when you’re huffing and puffing and out of breath.
But once you’ve got over your phobia and built up your fitness, it’ll feel like the most natural and uplifting thing in the world – because your body is designed to move.

 
And not only will You start enjoying it – you’ll actually want to do it because it makes you feel so good!

Feeling good is addictive –  and you’ll find that once you start, you’ll want to do more of the things that make you feel good!

Here’s to rocking our fitness, enJOYing our healthiest, happiest lives and Getting our Glow On! ☺

With Love,

Related Posts: 

• It's Not OK To Have Fun - It's Essential!
• Get Into the Habit of Being Your Most Wonderful You 
• Get Your Goals On: Believe, Commit, Take Action
• Recommit to Your Goals and Live Your Most Joyful Life 
• Rock Your Self-Discipline and Wave your Magic Wand :)

Reconnect with Powerful You - Get Your Glow On™ workshop at Avontuur Estate Restaurant

You can get your woe on,
or You CAN Get Your Glow On!
The choice is up to YOU!☺
  

If you’re tired of battling along feeling powerless and low on Glow – then please join me for an inspiring, interactive

Reconnect with Powerful You - Get Your Glow On™ Workshop, with Bettina

This is an opportunity to work directly with Bettina, within a small group. Bettina works intuitively and interactively with participants, ensuring a personal and insightful workshop experience.

You’ll gain new insights, and learn helpful strategies to emPower You to tune into the Good Stuff and live your Most JOYful Life!

You’ll be emPowered to: Tune into Powerful You  – Know YourSelf, BE YourSelf, Rock your HAPPINESS and Get Your Glow On!

You’ll leave with enthusiasm, tools, resources and a printed workbook to emPower you to Get Your Glow On™.  

Bettina brings an engaging, empathetic and FUN approach to her workshops which will leave you enthusiastic, inspired and empowered to Get Your Glow On™

VENUE: Avontuur Estate Restaurant, Somerset West.

DATE: TUESDAY 21^st AUGUST 2012
TIME: 9.30am – 11.30am

COST: R175 per person including workbook

(Check our Facebook page for special discount codes ☺)

BOOKINGS: Booking and pre-payment essential to secure a place

Email  Bets@GloWoman.org  Cell 082 851 6974

When We Get our Glow On, We Light Up our World! ☺