Believe in Wonderful You and Get Your Glow On!

We all go through periods of self-doubt when we think that we’re not good enough. This often happens when we compare ourselves to others and think that we don’t match up.

I experienced a crisis of confidence recently. I was invited to a corporate function, as they wanted me to be the speaker at their next event.
The speaker that evening was a survivor of a terrorist bomb blast who had lost both his legs, and survived to become a long-distance runner.

As I listened to him I realised that I had always thought of myself as extremely lucky – and one my luckiest things ever was that I had been at the same restaurant as this guy - the night before!
And I was looking after other people’s children (one of whom had snuck out of boarding school – but that’s another story! ☺) so I still feel weak and hugely relieved every time I think about it!
But of course I didn’t want to tell that story. Especially after I heard what he’d been through. It was beyond harrowing. It wouldn’t have felt right to turn around and say how lucky I was to have been there the night before, after what happened to this guy!

And that’s when I started to doubt myself. And the self-defeating thoughts started going around in my head:

“Who wants to hear about how lucky you are? No-one cares how lucky you are. They want to know how you’ve overcome tremendous challenges. How you’ve survived bomb blasts or cancer or swimming in ice. Who do you think you are? What have you ever done that’s so impressive? What’s so inspiring about You?”

I confessed to a group of close friends that I didn’t think I was up to the task of being an inspirational writer and speaker.
Who would be interested in my story? I wasn’t a top CEO who’d built up a billion-dollar business. I wasn’t an ice swimmer saving the planet. I hadn’t survived some life-threatening situation. What did I know anyway? What inspiring credentials did I have to write a book, or stand up and speak to a crowd?

Thankfully, there’s nothing like good friends to help you get over yourself. ☺

They reminded me that I inspire and encourage many people every day!
My writing, talks and workshops always get fantastic feedback!
And then I remembered why I do the work I’m doing and that my credentials are my gifts that I’m sharing every day – the gifts of insight, intuition, humour and tongue-in-cheek wisdom that support and encourage people to enJOY their Life’s journey.

“We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." ~ Marianne Williamson

I’ve made a folder on my computer called “Nice Stuff” which contains wonderful messages and heartfelt Thank You’s from clients and people who’ve heard me speak, or read my work – and if I find myself having a mini meltdown I open this up and read the messages to remind myself that I’m on the right track! ☺

And when we are on the right track the Universe does kindly affirm it for us. ☺ Recently I gave a workshop which was attended by a woman who works for the ice-swimming, planet-saving Lewis Pugh – one of my personal heroes.
She came to thank me after the session and I admitted to her that her boss’s impressive credentials had me doubting my own contribution. She looked around the room and pointed out that I was succesfully achieving what I wanted to do. And she sent me a follow up email to thank me for "facilitating a wonderful session". ☺

Often the biggest challenge we have to overcome is the way we see ourselves!

We disempower ourselves when we compare ourselves to others and think that we’re not good enough.

We erode our confidence with our own self-doubt that stops us from expressing our unique gifts that we were born to share.

So what if there are a zillion people who do what you do. No-one else can do it exactly like You! 

We’re all travelling our own unique journey and we all have our own unique story to share.

"There are scores of people waiting for someone just like us to come along; people who will appreciate our compassion, our encouragement, who will need our unique talents. Someone who will live a happier life merely because we took the time to share what we had to give." ~ Leo Buscaglia

When we appreciate and honour ourselves and all that we are, we believe in ourselves and emPower ourselves to shine our Light and share our gifts.

"Every achiever that I have ever met says, My life turned around when I began to believe in me." ~ Dr. Robert Schuller

Don’t allow your own self-doubt to stop you from doing what You came here to do.
Believe in Wonderful You and Get Your Glow On! ☺

With Love,

Related Posts: 

• Stay True to You and Follow Your Own Path
• Trust Yourself and Power Up :) 
• Don't be your 'own opposition' - Be your own Best Friend

From Fashion Junkie to Finding Fulfillment and Getting My Glow On ☺

I’ve been smiling to myself reading all the excited posts on Facebook and Twitter – British high street fashion chain Topshop has opened in South Africa. A few years ago, this news would have put me in an excited shopping frenzy. But the last few years have seen my circumstances change dramatically. And that’s the reason I’m smiling. ☺
I may never have imagined that my credit-crunched budget would have been a blessing.
But it truly has allowed me to understand what’s really important and to get my priorities straight.

I was obsessed with fashion! The latest looks, labels and beauty products – I had to have them all! I had to be in the front row of every catwalk show. Even my boyfriends had to love fashion – I wanted men who would shop with me. No surprise then, that three of them turned out to be gay! ☺

When I started working as a junior reporter on a newspaper, I was told to cover an incident of political unrest. That didn’t suit me at all. It was dangerous and deeply unglamorous. I remember telling my editor that I didn’t do body-bags – I was all about Louis Vuitton! ☺ While my journalist friends and colleagues were reporting on the harsh, scary realities of Apartheid South Africa, I was only interested in the shallow world of glitz and glamour.

Vogue, Harpers and Queen and Harpers Bazaar were my bibles. And because most of the stuff I wanted wasn’t available in South Africa, I’d spend ridiculous amount of money travelling to Hong Kong, London and New York just to shop.
When MAC cosmetics first opened up on the Kings Road in London, I couldn’t wait to fly over and stand for hours in a queue just to buy their Spice Lip liner – I bought into all the hype!
I lived for labels. I pined for Prada! It was an on-going, expensive obsession and I could never get enough.

And then a few years ago, my circumstances changed and I had to learn to live on a tight budget – not a situation I’d ever been familiar with. Shopping for luxuries was the last thing on my mind.

I had to learn to survive – on my own for the first time in my life, and with limited funds. And during this time, I had a complete shift in awareness. I no longer gave a hoot about ‘stuff’. I completely lost interest in it.

I needed to make sense of Life, especially my own life, and slaving after the latest fashion no longer held any appeal.
I needed true soul nurturing and comfort and I instinctively knew I wouldn’t find it in shopping.
In fact I couldn’t stand to be in a shopping mall – I started to find the noise, artificial lights and the rows and rows of stuff overwhelming.

So much for the marathon shopper. She went into retirement. ☺ The last time I happened to be in Europe was during the winter sales – and I got as far as the front entrance of Zara, before turning around and getting out of there as quickly as I could.

Of course I still love beautiful things – fine fabrics, beautiful design, pretty clothes and luxurious body products. I’m still a girl who loves luxury and style! ☺ But I no longer agitate and angst about having more stuff than I could ever need. And I’m no longer manipulated by trends or glossy magazines telling me what I “must have”. ☺

Now I find fulfillment in expressing my creativity, sharing my work, laughter, good food and good times with friends, time spent with family, being out in nature, sunshine and sitting quietly on my own enjoying my sea view.

I’m relieved to be off the hamster wheel of an industry that’s designed to keep one wanting more. Of course there are still gorgeous things that I want to buy – but they’re not the main focus of my life.

New, shiny stuff is definitely a nice-to-have, but it can’t replace Love, Laughter, Good Health and wonderful experiences to help me stay tuned to the Good Stuff and Get My Glow On!
☺ 

With Love, 

 

I Glow On with a little help from my friends ☺

When we’re going through a tough time, we want the support of our friends around us.
But our friendships don’t always survive the Big Transitions in our lives.

There are some people who start avoiding us, and there are some people we start avoiding. And this makes room for wonderful new friends. ☺

When I first moved into my flat I was so freaked out about being on my own (living alone for the first time ever, at the age of 42!) - that I arranged a roster of Betsey-Sitters to come over every evening and keep me company.

I was deeply sad, traumatised and feeling very insecure and shaky – but one thing’s for sure – I wasn’t miserable!
I know this because “misery loves company” – and there were a few friends who liked nothing better than to come over and settle in for a long, bitter vent about how all men were bastards and how hard life was.
This certainly wasn’t my view, and there was no way I was going to be a co-misery!

I wanted to celebrate Life and enjoy good times and laughter with my friends - so the ones who wanted a pity party were the first to go!

I soon realised that some of the people I’d always been there for – the ones I’d supported night after night during their break-ups, drawn-out divorces and times of unemployment and hardships  - were not necessarily going to be there for me.
I realised that most of them were simply so self-involved that they couldn’t have pulled their gaze from their own navel. ☺

"The shifts of fortune test the reliability of friends." ~ Marcus Tullius Cicero

And when one or two friends realised that I no longer had the same disposable income – they pretty much disposed of our friendship! 
I couldn’t afford to join them for wining and dining at the hip spots in town, and it turned out it wasn’t my company they were actually after.
They’d call me up - and then turn down invitations to visit because they preferred to be out and about.
So I haven’t seen them since. ☺

As any newly divorced woman is sure to find out – there are some married women friends who drop you because they feel threatened by your single status.
As if suddenly, now that you’re no longer attached, you’ve turned into some sort of femme fatale with a rampaging desire to seduce their husbands.
Which is absolutely ridiculous, because let’s face it – why on earth would I suddenly want their husbands? They don’t even find them attractive, so why would I? ☺☺

Friendships do come and go in our lives - it’s normal that some friends are with us at different times and stages.
But our true friends remain loyal throughout, regardless of time or distance.

My closest friends have been supportive, kind and generous and shown me the value of what true friendship really means.

I’ve dropped the needy people, been dropped by the shallow people, been supported by loving people and made some wonderful new friends on this part of my GloWoman journey. 

"A man's growth is seen in the successive choirs of his friends." ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

We’re each on our own individual path and we’re all at different stages on our unique journey. But we’re never alone.
Old friends and new friends are always there to love and support us along the way.
Some align with us for a while and some align with us throughout lifetimes, and all of them enrich our lives in their own way.

Our true friends encourage, support, inspire and uplift us, whatever our circumstances - and we do the same for them. 
I wouldn’t accept anything less. ☺

With Love,

 

Sod Your Ridiculous Rules and Get Your Glow On! ☺

 
For better or worse, we have to adhere to the rules and legalities of our society.
But are You placing unnecessary rules on Your Wonderful Life?

Most of us spend our lives in a disciplined routine, which is essential for streamlining, organising and getting things done.

But sometimes we place a lot of ridiculous rules on ourselves, which can get in the way of our happiness.

One of my more ridiculous rules is that I can’t leave a ‘dirty’ flat.
This is my ridiculous rationale: “God forbid I should die when I’m out and people should go into my flat and see how untidy I left it.”

Which is truly beyond ridiculous, because I’m an obsessive clean freak, and my flat is so clean you could eat off the floor – so leaving a few dirty dishes in the sink hardly makes it a pigsty!

I’m a very disciplined person – focused, organised and a little obsessive compulsive with my ‘rules’.

And there are certain things that I’ve committed to doing first thing in the morning: my Facebook page post, going for a run, and cleaning my kitchen.

But today was a Sod the Rules day – a Big Thing for me!

A close friend and I had been trying to meet up for a while.
She rang me early this morning to arrange a coffee meeting.
At first I hesitated – I had a routine to maintain… 

But because I hadn’t seen her in ages, I agreed to break my routine and go!

Of course the sky didn’t fall in! It was great to see her. We had a fabulous morning!

I’m certainly not going to chuck out my discipline (I couldn’t anyway – it’s who I am!), but I’m happy to allow a little leeway.

I’m better than I was - which has come with self-awareness of how ridiculous a lot of my ‘rules’ were.

I now allow myself to enjoy a sunshiny snooze on the couch on a winter’s afternoon – whereas before I used to think I had to sit at my desk during ‘work hours’.
Really ridiculous considering I am my own 'boss', and I work from home. ☺ (I often tell people that being your own boss, could be the worst boss you’ve ever had!)

And while I was writing this post, I broke another one of my rules – which is that I don’t take phone calls while I’m writing. ☺
Well I did, and I’m glad!
Because it was a friend inviting me to breakfast at a gorgeous beachfront venue on Monday morning – what a great way to start the week! Something super to look forward to! ☺

And perhaps it’s time to re-think some of my other ridiculous rules – especially the one that says “You can’t have a boyfriend (at my age, I find the word boyfriend ridiculous!) until you’re back on your feet financially”
Personally that one’s sounding like a lot of crapola to me.
If he’s the right one, he’ll love and adore me in spite of the fact that my finances are currently lower than low.

What ridiculous rules are you placing in the way of your happiness?

Life doesn’t fit into neat little boxes. We've got to open up and make sure that our Joy isn’t trapped and suffocating inside.
 

We all need to break out of our routine now and then, and allow ourselves to enJOY variety, creativity, relaxation and spontaneous FUN! 

This is Your WONDERFUL Life – don’t let your ridiculous rules stop you from Rocking your Happiness and Getting Your Glow On!

With Love,